The Three Doors of Post-Breakup

To preface this, those closest to me know how merciless I usually am when it comes to relationships. Whether the connection is intimate, friendly or even blood – I will cut your ass off quick and not think twice about it. When it comes to breakups, I’ve always been able to walk away very unfeeling of the aftermath and even been called heartless at times. It appears that now, in 2010, I actually have a conscience for this kind of thing. To put it figurative, I’m looking at three doors that will escape this fluffy mindfucking torture-chamber confusion called breaking up while in love.

 

The description for each door reads…

Behind door number one is the “easy” way out; say sorry and blame everything on yourself. Own up to YOUR faults and issues and dismiss whatever issues you may have with her. There are some things that you might feel are still not out in the open, but what you do know is that she wants to try again. And part of you might want to do the same. Yeah… you definitely might think some of this her fault too, and whether she realizes that or not – you don’t really care. You just choose to be with her, because deep down inside you’re still mourning the loss what you expected life to be like with her. You choose to be with her for hopes of what you two can be, just as she does the same. Regardless of the glaring incompatibilities, you still catch yourself watching her prance around, looking at the goods, etc. It seems that being with her again will justify [and let you act on] that urge of what you [still might] want to do to her. So, the two of you continue on down the yellow-brick road [again] hoping for a happy ending [again]. The challenge along this road of potentiality will be filled with hurdles of uncertainty… distrust being the biggest one of them all. These same hurdles have broken you up before… and hell, may even break you up again. They still will prevent you both from giving each other 100%. You love her and she loves you, but you are truly taking a definitive chance on getting fed up with [and even resenting] each other if you walk through this door. 

Behind door number two is what I call the “callous” [or the nigga] way out. Ultimately, you don’t settle for shit. You don’t try working on anything because trying to be with her is what you thought you already were doing already! Through this door you’re proving everyone who said it wouldn’t work… right. But so what, you’re young and you can do that. Whether the fail was soft or epic, you’re convinced that you two as a couple are not strong enough to prevail through the most thick and thin or situations. Strong people love you when you’re right, when you’re wrong, weak or strong, at your best or worse… so essentially, “strong” might not be what either or you are. You as a person will probably never change, and nor do you really believe she will either… so why waste each other’s time? And screw it, she’s doing her thing elsewhere anyway – or at least that’s how it may feel. So why not move on? If you’ve never really spent any time by yourself, now would be that time to do so. You like the sound of being alone and finding yourself, but sheeeiiit – your phone and Facebook has some pretty faces on deck more than ever and the opportunity to get over her with someone else presents itself whether you care or not [and whether you’re over her or not]. It don’t hurt to talk to nobody, right? Hmmph, that how it seems. Hooking up with other people so soon after a breakup is nothing new, and if you can handle it – go for it. 

Behind door number three is the “right” way out. Bow out gracefully but be open-minded enough not to burn that bridge between you and her. Drive slow, homie [to your side of the bridge]… because love and time might u-turn you right back after all. That bridge may in fact catch fire for reasons beyond your control, but don’t you be the one to ignite the blaze. If and when it does start to burn, haul ass because you’ll end up really hurt. But until then, gamble on some true time apart and keep an open friendship so that years and years worth of good times aren’t just thrown to the curb. Let the commitment go and let fate have its way as you set x amount of goals for yourself over x amount of time. Meeting new people is an option but should not be a priority. Nevermind her intentions. If you REALLY love her, you’ll give her a chance at really being happy… even if that means her being with someone else. Attaining YOUR ideal self is your priority. Walking through this door is the cornerstone for recognizing that NO relationship of yours – past, present or future – can be at its maximum potential until you are happy with you’ve become in life. 

Three doors, what's a man to do? ***